she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
