so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
PANTIES FOUND
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
