Soap is not a condiment
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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