Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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