You just made me feel so damn special
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
