why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
