but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
