is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
