Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
