Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
