If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
