Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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