Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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