brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if you like me you must not know who I am
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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