I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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