community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
