girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
