Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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