Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
