she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
