I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
