yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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