I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
