Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
