So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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