fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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