wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
