This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
