Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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