she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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