I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
