porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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