masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
