At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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