Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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