K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
