Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
