whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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