She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
