I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize