When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
