ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
