I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
