your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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