He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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