i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
