dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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