Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You smell like stripper and shame
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
