He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
