Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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