one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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