I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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