that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
