I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
