matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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