I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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